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There are three things I have been wanting to do for a long time now, blog(4 years), learn de guitar(11 years) and grow up(22 years).. Since the last two aren t gonna happen anyway, I thought I mite type some crap and get started on the first one.. But you see the problem with blogging is the same one with interviews. You can sit and pretend to be something that you are SO not and get away with it. People may find out eventually, but still… it’s a little unfair right? So I ‘ve been reading a lot of blogs lately by people some of whom I know personally.. And I couldn t help wondering how different thoughts on air can be from the ones on paper.. The cynic that I am, I choose to believe it is to portray urself in a light that aint coming from the sun… … So before I start writing about politics, religion, sports, what I think about SRK, etc, etc I feel I should give people a fair chance at knowing what usually goes through my mind before they spend their precious few minutes reading stuff I write… See, I respect your time.. Respect that nobody ever gave me… Well, anyways the conversation given below is when I lost my tenth and twelfth grade marksheets 5 months before I was scheduled to leave to the US ( in TN in times like these, 5 months is a little less than 6 mins), was interning at a place where the ppl I stayed with were great and the ppl I worked under couldn t care less, and got calls for b-schools that I thought was some horrifyingly elaborate practical joke some friend was trying to play on me and god decided it would be fun to put stones in my kidney… in short, THE SUBASH PLAN was breaking into pieces even before I was done planning it…

So to give u proof of the mental make up of the blogger is different from the guy in person.. after you read this blog I suggest you check out Ashwin s blogs… He has of late been writing stuff that corresponds more to his personal self, so skip all tat and read the poems... ashwinchronicles.blogspot ... The conversation below has been edited to exclude stuff abt me that you are better off not knowing and highly condensed to prevent you from thinking we need to get a life… Ashwin is in Georgia Tech and I m in a b school down south…. This mindblowingly lame blog is ‘still’ dedicated to two people.. one, a certain character that appears in this convo… I mite actually get killed by him when he takes a break from working his ass off sometime in the next century and two, a person from my campus who s told me I m good enough to start blogging and thus I am... And you if by now you are thinking 1) I am trying too much or 2) I need to try harder… Hell.. this is my first one., so shut up and read on(typos retained to give de raw feel.. :)

Ashwin: hey!

Me: hey mach

Ashwin: wat doin? in hostel or home?

Me: just reached home from madras.. was there for the past coupla days

Ashwin: wat.. u were in madras? U shud ve told Me..

Me: last minute plan.. on account of soMe personal work.. tat wasnt happenin.. so decided i mite as well be at hoMe

Ashwin: hmm.. okie..so hows de event organizing goin?

Me: leavin tom.. i m in the event and res mgmt team for kriya.. and jaynth s uncle said yes so gotta get in touch wit him.. jobless and yet busy.. how was the concert?

Ashwin: there was this one band called udaan.. from MCC .. strings like.. and then there was this band called stoned.. their lead g was awesome but nothing else!! So when are u Meeting AD s uncle?

Me: depends on when I can manage to put on a few extra pounds so tat the textile firms of the world don’t look bad..

Ashwin: no clothes???

Me: proper ones

in fact, Meetin AD s uncle wud get postponed cause of this!!

Ashwin: sheesh!! dei borrow something da! clothes when has that become a problem!

Me: i cant think of anybody else who can manage to walk into 5 shops lookin for shirts and walk out empty handed.. seriosuly.. its become a big problem to me due to lack of serious problems..

makes sense?

Ashwin: loads.. u are jobless!

Me: i guess so

Ashwin: and well being in that position for the last two months.. i am able to relate!

Me: he he.. spoke to Rakesh? his girl sent him adidas tracks cause he told her he started jogging.. and a newspaper clippin which showed holiday spots in south india

Ashwin: yeah!!

Me: and circled one sayin her choice and this guy is typing codes at some god forsaken place.

Ashwin: but i got the news from the other end... as soon as she started planning to send him something.. i tried to change her idea.. but well u know girls!

Me: really.. i thought it was cool

Ashwin: man..u are a romantic eh.. maybe that holiday thing wud have worked with me.. but tracks.. u gotta be kidding me!

Me: again..only when i m jobless..

Ashwin: a GF who wants me to jog.. thats break up material ;)

Me: nah..its more complex.. a girl who s encouragin me to do somethin which the whole world knows i wont give two shits about and cares enough to send me somthin thinkin tat it mite actually motivate me.. thats mad over Me material

Ashwin: thats more like being in love with the person she wants me to be and something i can never be! ;) u are thinking the 'glass is half full' way today eh! :)

Me: no.. i m thinkin there s atleast a glass in de picture..

Ashwin: well i prefer to hope there isn't i have the disgusting habit of being futuristically pessimistic... kinda like if ever there is a glass bottle its Meant to be broken way ;)

Me: no.. it aint disgusting.. this way.. ur either constantly proven rite or sometimes, very rarely if the bottle doesnt break, pleasantly suprised

Ashwin: yeah!! :) thats true.. i am a true follower of murphyism!

Me: i dont think u choose to be it.. murphyism is universally true.. either u shut up and agree with the system or u believe in the tooth fairy..

Ashwin: well its more of a rule then a choice!

Me: yeah.. my point

Ashwin: there is no way but to agree with the systemm.. the only other possibility is to get screwed and agree after much afflictions

Me: yeah.. in de first case u have the advantage of knowin u gonna get screwed.. u can make peace to wats comin… know somethin?

Ashwin: exactly.. expectation can alleviate the impact of the blow..wat? that we are the last person in the world that an optimist will want to talk to?? ;)

Me: yeah.. i get this feelin we are the two most screwed up souls in de world..

Ashwin: well screwed up so much that the equally screwed up world seems straight to us!

relatively speaking!

Me: true.. is this a form of buddhism? this isnt rite.. why are we even talking about this??

Ashwin: buddhism?? whoa it says the saMe thing.. man was gautama as screwed up as us??

Me: i read some where tat everybody s stupid.. the rite way to be stupid is to be stupid and not know u r stupid..

Ashwin: yeah.. :) Never argue with a fool… people may not be able to tell the difference.. an anti analogy for that!

Me: hmmm

Ashwin: well there is this religion soMewhere in south aMerica... where people are supposed to let bees sting them.. salvation it seems!

Me: to the bees i guess.. wat a fucked up world..

Ashwin: yeah.. customs like these make Me wonder why we pursue our religion.. to them ours may seem just as ridiculous! and as such there can be no view or opinion that isn't relative!!

Me: true.. this is where Einstein got it wrong..

Ashwin: then there is no way to be absolutely sure or there can be no way anything can b absolute

Me: there is no way at all.. everything is so ultimately dependent on individual perception.. so in a population of 6 billion, laws, rules, principles all becoMe Meaningless to the sane mind..

Ashwin: exactly.. :) cause rules are based on fraMes of righteousness.. which is closely linked with perception.. but fraMes of perception differs from one individual to another..

Me: again true

Ashwin: as such there cant be even one true judgeMent.. i wud say even the thought that everythin is relative is wrong! and in all possiblity a man can actually get the vision of god when he is being stung by bees.. i just cant tell!

Me: true.. and congrats.. u just scored the insane stunt bonus for screwed up thoughts

Ashwin: ha ha.. insanity is of two kinds da..

Me: yeah?

Ashwin: well its either the enlightened insanity or the given up in life insanity

Me: and I suppose we belong to the first?

Ashwin: yeah.. and the world may see us as screwed just as we see them ;) cause we all are either already screwed or gonna get screwed no matter wat.. knowing u are gonna get screwed may help u ease it but its not gonna stop it!! we may just widen our asses a bit to make it easier!

Me: he he

Ashwin: well do u judge people soMetiMes?

Me: yeah.. soMetiMes

Ashwin: hmm.. have u ever wondered.. how we would be judged by others?

Me: only if they know rite?

Ashwin: yeah..

Me: not a problem then..

Ashwin: well good.. u are better along the path.. i try to but cant judge people.. kinda like a syndroMe.. i end up questioning my own stance in the equation :)

Me: wat are u talkin abt.. u judge and move on..

Ashwin: well on wat basis do u judge??

Me: no basis.. just generalization of actions over a long period of tiMe which does nt enter my book of tolerable acts

Ashwin: ha ha.. hmm.. that actually makes it easier..

Me: its a book tat i use when i coMe across the saMe ppl again.. that book actually helps Me deal with them soMetiMes

Ashwin: well yeah handle people better..

Me: yeah…